Lean On Me
By Nancylee Bouscher
My dad grew up on a farm outside of Lisbon, Ohio, surrounded by acres that were rented out by farmers, and local hunters traded for access to the woods along the creek where the deer came to drink. Even today “the farm,” as everyone refers to it, is remote. Can’t imagine what it was like back in the forties when my dad was growing up. I was the city grandchild that loved the barn cats and the fireflies, but could do without the crawdads and the leeches. I only visited there a few times, but all the stories from my dad make me feel like I was there every summer.
My dad’s idea of a good time as a kid was taking apart the telephone. Ya know, that thing that used to sit attached to the kitchen wall with a big dial and a long cord? The radio, a bicycle, or any engine was also fair game. And most of the time, he put it back together well enough to get it working again. When things broke down, that was his time to shine for sure. I don’t have any reason not to believe that the show MacGyver wasn’t inspired by my dad, or a generation of folks that figured things out with what they had because they had to. As the saying goes, “necessity is the mother of invention.”
I know these days when folks come into the Co-op, it can look just like another grocery store, but there are still staff and owners that remember the crunchy days of the Co-op when there was a lot of jerry-rigging and do-it-yourself energy. The resourcefulness of the Co-op is legendary, and yet, at some point we decided to let go of some of our independence and allow for some interdependence: this radical notion that it’s okay to rely on each other for the good of all. In the co-op world, this means that we are also a member of a larger co-op, National Cooperative Grocers, that saves us money and energy, so we don’t have to reinvent the wheel.
I’ve been thinking a lot about interdependence lately because I have not been physically able to be as independent as I once was. If everything goes as planned, by the time you are reading this, I will have a shiny new hip and a cool scar. But it’s been a long, gimpy road getting here, and along the way I had to shed the notion that people will think less of me if they see my weakness. When I write that here it looks ridiculous to admit, but lots of us do have this internal voice that tells us we have to go it alone.
Dancin’ Nancylee
Right now, as I type this, Mama Jo, as some of you may know her from her days at the Co-op in the Deli and as a cashier, is in my bathroom scraping out the old caulk, repairing drywall and helping my shower stall to look less like the set of horror show about deadly mold slime taking over. She’s been coming over every other week for months to “pick up the chunks” and chat. Sometimes, I get up and work alongside her, and other times, I sit here with an ice pack.
We like to chat about life, the Co-op, and specifically, about good memories we both have after meeting there over 15 years ago. Today, Jo told me about a time when someone in the deli started to sing “Lean on Me” (my guess is that it was her who started it), and pretty soon a whole bunch of Co-op staff were singing along and even a few customers joined in. If the Co-op had a theme song (WHY DON’T WE HAVE A THEME SONG?!) it should be, would be “Lean on Me.”
Cooperation means coming together and even when we cannot all contribute equally in terms of energy or skill—that we all actually honor each contribution as a vital part of the experience. Cooperation sometimes means compromises that aren’t comfortable. Cooperation sometimes means letting go of perfection, so you can have some progress. It means helping someone carry on and trusting that they’ll step up when it’s your turn to rest. Singing in a group is a beautiful example of how when we do it together the joy flows exponentially, but man, some of us are stubbornly singing solo and not hitting the notes some of the time. Myself included.
Sure, there’s freedom in independence. I cherish a “no one can stop me” moment. I was spoon fed “if you want something done right, do it yourself” along with lumpy oatmeal. Some people get so excited about that notion of independence they like to yell loud and light a match on a few fireworks. I’m here to remind you that resourcefulness and reliance can be dynamite too!
The day before my surgery I’m having a work/play day at my house, and most of the folks coming over are people I have met through the Co-op and who I continue to see regularly at the store. Weeds will be pulled, walls will be washed, and any twinge of guilt I feel at asking friends over to sweep up dog hair will be drowned out by the laughter as we all try to remember the words to the 80s playlist I’m putting together. Because I’m not like a drifter born to walk alone, folks, and neither are you. When times feel like they are getting harder, the biggest resource we have is each other. Spread that love around.
While I’m STILL on the subject of me and my hip, I just want to sincerely THANK YOU for shopping at the Co-op. I have amazing health care because of the dollars you spend here and because of the values of our current and previous General Managers, who truly care about their staff. Access to health care has been a Co-op priority for decades. You may think you’re just buying toothpaste and pinto beans, but shopping at a place that treats their staff well is a vote for the kind of world we all deserve. So, thanks again and the next time you hear a bunch of staff singing along to the obscure song on the store’s speakers, join in! We want to hear your voice. We’ll have a theme song picked out by then.